Archive for the ‘negative thinking’ Category

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From Guilt to Acceptance of a Smaller Role in Autistic Advocacy

February 21, 2013

So we have been dealing with many guilty and unhappy feelings lately. Let me be clear first: NO OTHER AUTISTIC SELF ADVOCATES ARE IN ANY WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR FEELINGS. We haven’t, fortunately, read any posts by any advocates we know, that suggest that autistic people who aren’t involved heavily in self advocacy are bad people or not serious about wanting better representation in society. We haven’t been more involved in advocacy for several reasons. We are currently in school pursuing a bachelor of arts degree in mathematics. We have had many difficulties in school which are mostly unrelated to subject matter. Though this semester, we have had trouble with some of that as well.

These guilty feelings are doing absolutely NOTHING to help us. Well duh. They are directly NEGATIVELY affecting our concentration. They pervade our waking thoughts (not all the time, but even a few times is too many!). They are unwanted intruders.

We feel guilty about having arrived late on the scene of autistic self advocacy. This is true mainly because prior to our diagnosis, we had no contacts with self advocates, nor any occasions to learn about the movement. Had we known, we probably would have tried to get involved sooner.

Again, we must reiterate our prior assertion that NONE OF OUR GUILT SHOULD BE BLAMED ON ANY OTHER AUTISTIC SELF ADVOCATE! Our current life circumstances (primarily being in college) mean we don’t have as much time or energy to dedicate to advocacy. We just have to embrace a less visible, but no less important and significant and MEANINGFUL role in the process.
There will ALWAYS be a need for advocacy in the autistic community.
Our advice to anyone feeling a similar sense of guilt,

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Emotions are so weird and irritating

November 17, 2012

Oftentimes I feel that the expression of deep emotions such as sorrow, sadness……etc………are very difficult or even impossible for me to express in any way that comes close to a resolution of those feelings. Athena can cry and feel some relief when she is done crying. Sometimes. I can’t, for some reason. When I cry from overload and stress, it is a very lonely and despairing feeling that blankets my being. Even depression, which all three of us struggle with, hits me much harder than my headmate-sisters. Perhaps it has something to do with gender? I am male and they are female. But that sounds a bit too stereotypical for me, that men always take such things harder. Or is it that women take it harder? Either way that explanation is too simplistic. There are other things going on here. I hate my emotions. I can’t even get excited without being afraid of “crashing” (it happens all the time)

Why is that? I wish I knew. This is very hard for me to write about, because it often makes me feel very ashamed, and more like a child than an adult. But, that thinking is internalized ablism. Now I can finally recognize it for what it is.

But how can I learn to be more at peace with my emotions?

Anger is the emotion that is most accessible to me.

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Reblogged: An Open Letter to Ann Coulter

October 24, 2012

More on the response to Ann Coulter’s insensitive tweet! This letter is amazing! I wouldn’t have been able to write something like this completely devoid of anger and harshness. Whether Ann Coulter understands this letter and takes it seriously doesn’t matter one bit. What is FAR MORE IMPORTANT is that many people are speaking out and responding to these kinds of letters from people who write them. People are talking about this issue and taking a stand. That’s how we can effect change.

Bravo, John!

Andrea

The World of Special Olympics

The following is a guest post in the form of an open letter from Special Olympics athlete and global messenger John Franklin Stephens to Ann Coulter after this tweet during last night’s Presidential debate.

Dear Ann Coulter,

Come on Ms. Coulter, you aren’t dumb and you aren’t shallow.  So why are you continually using a word like the R-word as an insult?

I’m a 30 year old man with Down syndrome who has struggled with the public’s perception that an intellectual disability means that I am dumb and shallow.  I am not either of those things, but I do process information more slowly than the rest of you.  In fact it has taken me all day to figure out how to respond to your use of the R-word last night.

I thought first of asking whether you meant to describe the President as someone who was bullied as a child…

View original post 260 more words

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Ann Coulter, The Disability Community is Coming after you!

October 23, 2012

Damn. I had almost an entire post written, and then My ipod decides to crash without saving it! This woman is able to spread her filth because the rest of us except her listeners don’t give a fuck. Well, if we want to send a message loud and clear not only to her but more importantly TO THE REST OF SOCIETY that this kind of crap will no longer go unchallenged, ITS TIME TO START GIVING A FUCK!!!!!!!! Get on social media, write letters to her sponsors, write to newspapers! LET US BLANKET THE NATION WITH OUR OUTRAGE!

Its more than just some dumb woman spewing hate. She is showing her hatred for an entire group of people (nothing new there) but let us make the result much different! Silence no more!

Athena

This Side of Typical

Or, like I like to refer to you, Cunty McCunterson.

Wow.  just…wow.  You know, I “get” that you get your attention by using shock value.  I understand that every fucking thing you say really has no meaning, or weight, or substance.  I get that you are just some lonely woman who needs the attention, good or bad.  Usually bad. I get that.  And I would give you a patronizing pat on the head any day of the week for that.

But really?

*sigh*  after last night’s debate, you did it.  AGAIN.  

And now no doubt you will trot out a little dog and pony show telling the world you should have used a different word.

Well, I’m going to stand by mine.  Cunt.

First off, it was the most OBVIOUS play to distract from Romney’s obvious loss with your stupid words.

But the second, and most important point.  By…

View original post 182 more words

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Reflecting on the negatives at the most inopportune times

October 13, 2012

How many people reading have ever been really upset about something or other, and then suddenly remembered all of the stupid, embarrassing, or upsetting things that they ever said or did, or had others say or do to them?

Funny how that tends to happen, at least to us, when we’re already down or anxious.

ETA: it’s not really all that surprising to us. When we are in a negative thought pattern, it attracts more negative thoughts, like recalling all the stupid things we have ever said or done.

Which can make the negative thought spiral feed on itself and get worse and worse. Which can in turn affect one’s outward disposition, in ways that other people may pick up on. This may lead to less productivity at work or in school; which would be reasons for others to pick up on it. Those others may comment on it, which could lead to even more worsening of the cycle, because the last thing many of us need or want to hear when we are already feeling/thinking poorly about ourselves, is others’ criticism.

Ivan

Andrea chiming in- what Ivan wrote is indeed a complete thought, but I wonder if this sort of thing is “worse” for young adults with disabilities, than the general population. This happens to everyone at some point after all.

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