Archive for the ‘hope’ Category


From diaryofamom: she’s not a baby

November 27, 2012

This may very well rub some autistic self-determination proponents the wrong way. I was taken aback the first time I read it. Some truths are harder to accept than others. 2 positive things to take away from this:

1) this mom didn’t want to write about it or admit it BUT SHE DID BOTH! There will be time to dissect all the “why she may not have wanted to admit it” later on. I don’t know the reasons. They are her reasons. But I think this is a big step for her and her family. I say this as an autistic person myself.

2) Her other daughter, an NT, pointed it out to her. This girl has ally potential already. Key word is POTENTIAL.

Kudos to DiaryOfAMom for fessing up and writing this. That was a huge step. One that should be recognized.


a diary of a mom


I don’t like this post.

In fact I hate it.

Its content is raw and embarrassing.

But I’m publishing it.

Because I think it matters. 


She was right.

Of course she was right.

That’s why it hurt so much.


That’s why I got so defensive when she said it — and tried to pretend that I didn’t know what she meant.

“Mama,” she said, “you don’t have to talk to her like she’s a baby.”


The words hung in the air — thick, accusatory.

My gut reaction was denial.

“I wasn’t, honey.”

It sounded ridiculous. Like I’d just said that the sky wasn’t blue. But look, Katie, my brow is furrowed as though I’m confused, and I’ve even cocked my head to the side for good measure, so I must not know what you mean.

“Mama,” she said, going along with the game,”ask me the same…

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Seeing the Sparkle in Autism

October 24, 2012

So I read this post again, not exactly sure why I had marked it for reblogging in the first place. I knew there was something about it that definitely warranted a response, and a positive one at that. Some of it is very difficult to read, namely the parts about being in gloom and doom and the “dark side of autism”. That simply does not exist for many autistic people, our system included. But this is the writing of a parent who is gradually coming to see the light, the great potential. This IS a big moment for her son. Her wording may be objectionable in many aspects (note to author: unfortunately many of us self advocates do find things objectionable about parents’ descriptions of their autistic children at times. But please do not take this necessarily as condemnation. It is just a statement of fact. Just listen and reach out. We have reasons, justified or not, for our “harshness” to parents of autistic children as regards their use of words to describe their children. I will attempt to explain this in a separate post.


I call this moment my “number one reason to love autism moment” because, truly, it was the first.  This was the first time I realized there is some crazy magical stuff inside of autism and just when you think you understand it all, it will knock the wind out of you.  Yeah, in the beginning, autism is every bit of 100% scary and overwhelming and your moments of hiding in the bathtub become more plentiful as you try to hide from the thing you don’t understand and the thing that is slowly taking over your life.  It is either a dark pit to fall into or to pull yourself out of.  In that very beginning, there is no light, there is no positive and, clearly, there is no magic or wonder to be found.  It is mostly black and sopping wet from the tears that seem to be continually clouding…

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A Terrific piece of reporting from someone at the Boston Globe

July 5, 2009

After hearing about Michael Jackson’s passing, an entire planeful of people dying, Farrah Fawcett’s demise, the economy, and a myriad of other depressing stories, how about a welcome change?

Kudos to Jenna Russell, the author of the article I linked to above. 

Let us know what you all think, and perhaps even start a discussion if you like, either on this blog or on the site page. 


The Integral


Please Help This Little Angel

November 17, 2008

Katie Fitch, a three year old from South Carolina, suffers from hepatoblastoma, which is a very rare form of liver cancer. As of her mother’s and sister’s last update, her cancer is no longer responding to chemotherapy. This little darling needs our help! Her parents need funds for her medical care. Whether you are religious or not, please take the time to read her site, set up by her parents, and donate. Her family sent the story to already, and the myth-busters there have confirmed the story as TRUE. I know there are many scam artists in cyberspace, so it’s important to determine the veracity of any claim, no matter how much it might pull at your heartstrings. With this in mind, rest assured: this is one hundred percent true. If you don’t want to take my word for it, you can check for yourself. Simply google “katie fitch” and you should find the verdict on the story.

Please, help this little girl and her family. She has two sisters, a mom and dad, and pets who all love her dearly.

Please link to this page on your blogs if you have them, or email your friends. You can also link to my post if you like.

Thank you.

The Integral


To Disheartened Republicans who Gave Change a Chance

November 16, 2008

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!!!!

I’m so sorry that things have not worked out for you these last eight years. Things haven’t worked out for a whole lot of us…….more than three quarters of the population of this great land.

You have NOT deserted your party by voting for a Democrat. Your party, such as it stands right now, has deserted YOU, or at the very least, it has not been keeping YOUR best interests in mind. This is how I, a Democrat (who could very well be wrong in my perception;  if so, please, set me straight. I’m autistic too, which means I might not be able to interpret things quite correctly…..what certain things mean….etcetera.)..perceive what’s going on.

I’m a somewhat socially conservative Democrat. Here’s a bit of background…….I’m a devout eastern Orthodox Christian……against abortion on demand…….(notice the words ON DEMAND………I don’t think it should be forbidden for a woman with serious health risks to have an abortion if doing so will save her life.)….I don’t agree with the idea of cohabitation (but hey, if people are into that, it’s none of my business, and if someone tells me they cohabitate, I’m not going to tell them I disapprove. I have friends who cohabitate.) I don’t agree with premarital sex (been there, done it, confessed, etcetera). I believe that welfare should be a last resort and temporary, but there should be more help for people to find work. I believe that everyone should do what they are ABLE to do in terms of contributing to society and improving themselves.

I hate the idea of pork barrel spending. However, one person’s pork might be another person’s bread and butter. Or something like that. Evaluate each extra item to fund carefully. How is a certain state spending money on something or other going to benefit a) the people living in the immediate vicinity of the area to receive funds for x or y project or building or whatever; b) the population of that state receiving funds for x or y, and/or c) the nation as a whole.

Someone please correct me if I’m wrong, but to me, conservative means frugality (not only in terms of money but in terms of any resource.) conservation (of food, water, the environment…….) each person or family living within their means……

having ten houses and fifteen expensive cars is not exactly my idea of conservative………not when so many others don’t even have the luxury of a roof over their heads. We can argue ad infinitum about how said people got into that situation, but the bottom line is, the more people who can contribute to society, the better off we are. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

Anyway…….back to sharing my appreciation with conservatives (and independents too) for giving change a chance.

I sincerely hope you are not disappointed (and I hope that for myself and fellow Democrats too)……Do not view this as a failure on your part……that somehow Senator McCain did not get elected because of your failure as Republicans. You have a lot of work to do…….in terms of taking back your party. I hope you do it…….

It’s one very patriotic thing to do…….to take back your party. We as a nation cannot afford more of the divisiveness that was rampant during the past eight years of the Bush presidency. Great empires have fallen because of divisiveness and infighting between members of the ruling classes (think Roman empire……Greek empire……..boy do I wish I had some citations for this……)

We’re not an empire anymore…… least not in terms of ruling vast amounts of territory…….but we do have a very important role in global affairs……..we cannot have fights “in our house” and then expect to be taken seriously when we want to tell other people to get their “houses” (nations) in a certain order……..

I didn’t vote for Obama simply because he’s a Democrat. I voted for him because I felt he was the most capable person running, to start dealing with the huge mess we’re in right now. If the candidates had been…..say……..John Kerry versus John McCain (circa 2000, not 2008) I would really have to think about my vote. I’d have to think about Congress……..because even though I personally consider myself socially conservative on certain issues, I do NOT relish the idea of a Supreme Court with a large rightward majority. I don’t want to see Roe v. Wade overturned……)

a Democratic congress and McCain………I could deal with that, if it were him or Kerry of 2004…….maybe Mr. Kerry has toughened up since then. I held my nose and voted for him in 2004 because I couldn’t stand Bush……he’s had way too many yes-people…….and not enough control over his own administration.)

I’m pulling for you Republicans……hoping that you are able to take back your party sooner rather than later……..have more Hagels and Snowes and Specters……..and McCains even (circa 2000, not 2008) rather than Palins and Cheneys and Roves…….for your leaders. And if you are so inclined, become Republican leaders YOURSELVES! We need you……..for a healthy balance. A nation gone way to the left is just as bad as one gone way to the right……….

Yes You Can!

-all of us


38th DBC Entry: Our thoughts on Disability and Spirituality

May 13, 2008

Once again we have a very fascinating topic to work with and write about for this next installation of the awesome Disability Blog Carnival. I (Ivan) will try to elaborate on all of our thoughts on the subject. 

We are all Eastern Orthodox Christian. Athena’s significant other/friend and mentor to myself and The Integral is Eastern Orthodox, and Athena and the rest of us had been investigating that religion for some time. The fact that D was born into it, and it requires that all of its adherents marry other Christians, prompted us to accelerate our learning and understanding, for eventual conversion and baptism. Athena met D at a very dark time in our lives; we were under a misdiagnosis of bipolar disorder and had to take several heavy medications, including lithium and depakote. (there’s my topic for whenever I host a dbc edition.) We were exhausted, physically and psychologically, on a near-daily basis. At some point Athena was convinced that we were all dying of cancer, because our body was just so damned run down and worn out all the time. We weren’t DOING much physical activity to speak of, and so we were all flummoxed (utterly confused) as to why we were so tired. We later discovered that our tiredness was a side effect of our medication. We slept lightly and fitfully at best, and our sleep was rarely the restful kind. We could lie in bed with our eyes closed for hours but never really get our quota of needed “rest and relaxation” that would keep us from being so tired all the time. Medication can mess with many different body systems. 

What does this all have to do with disability and spirituality? Well, during that very dark time in our lives, we prayed a lot. I mean, every day, several times a day, hoping that we would be heard at some point. We needed SOMEONE to hear our despair and desperation, and we found solace in Jesus Christ. Our lot didn’t improve drastically, but our prayer and private time with Christ made life possible. Eventually I (Ivan) gave the others an ultimatum: we could either quit our meds and stop the bullshitting around with our life and leave our parents’ home to figure ourselves out, or we could all die and take the rest of the family with us. I tend to be somewhat of a militant, hence the two drastic options. Needless to say, since we’re all still living, we chose the first option. I believe that prayer led to our finding that particular solution to our problem. It was not a perfect solution, but it was the only viable, ecclesiastically legal solution we had. It was the one solution we came up with that would allow us to be free of the pharmacological thieves that were robbing us of our minds, our body’s physical strength, and the very essences of who we were. The Integral had been living in suspended animation, not dead yet not alive. In fact, we didn’t realise how separate our identities were (me-Ivan, Athena, and The Integral). We were only focused on living by the minute, passing the time, and most nights going to sleep and praying that we wouldn’t wake up the next morning. 

So spirituality and religion has a very, very important function in our lives. We although think that our disability -(now correctly diagnosed, might we add. well, as correctly as possible. autism and asperger’s, what’s the bloody difference?)- has a major role in how we interact with our Lord. 

Most of our prayers are silent, in that we do not outwardly vocalise, but allow God to listen to our thoughts. We aren’t gifted orators when it comes to prayer, so what’s in our minds has to suffice at the moment. 

We dealt with the dark era of our existence in a very autistic fashion, even though we were not diagnosed as such at the time, we were interested in analysing every little detail of our feelings throughout the days and months spanning those three years, to the fullest extent that we were able. Spirituality, as I said before, helped us, nay, allowed us, to survive that time of chaos and destruction to our minds and body. 

I hope this is along the lines of what the topic is supposed to be about. 


with input from The Integral and Athena



Amazing speech by Senator Barack Obama

March 19, 2008

This man doesn’t cease to amaze and inspire us with his message of hope and unity. After seven years and counting, of woefully lacking leadership in our president and our government as a whole, I honestly didn’t think I could be nearly as excited about a candidate as we have all been about Senator Barack Obama.

Just listen to these words.

I did. I heard a man clearly fighting for American unity, without using any fighting words. I heard the voice of a man who clearly wants the best for a country he loves dearly, and for all of its citizens. I heard the urgency of a man begging (well okay, that’s a little melodramatic, but you know what I mean. I do not have Senator Obama’s written or oratory skill. Forgive me.) for a chance to try and right some of the wrongs that have been done to us as Americans by our own failed leadership. I heard the fierce urgency of now.

We were, collectively, firm supporters of this man before hearing this speech. After it, we are only firmer in our convictions that he is America’s best chance at redemption vis a vis the rest of the world, and perhaps a little more importantly (well, not necessarily to us, but for some, yes) vis a vis her own citizens.

Ivan, with contributions from Athena and The Integral

Hiking Photography

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Don't ever change yourself to impress someone, cause they should be impressed that you don't change to please others -- When you are going through something hard and wonder where God is, always remember that the teacher is always quiet during a test --- Unknown

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