Angst…How Irritating!February 19, 2008
Okay. I’m having an “angsty” moment again (it’s happened umpteen times before…..I could seriously count hairs on my head)…and again, I can’t pin down one or even several specific reasons for that. I guess all members here are prone to being irritated over little things or even nothings every so often. It’s a constant, that one or more of us will get upset, troubled, or just plain furious over something we often cannot define or create a “closed form verbal expression” of a reason or reasons. When that happens, needless to say, it’s very irritating!
And being irritated about being irritated certainly threatens, and sometimes results in, sensory overload of some sort. I would suggest including lots of thoughts flooding one’s mind at once as a form of sensory overload….if it’s not considered thus already. For me, and The Integral and Athena as well, brain overload (flood 0f thoughts) causes anxiety, which elicits a physical response of something like an adrenaline rush, probably. It can get to a point where whoever is around and experiencing it, feels like he/she wants to run away as fast as possible, at the same time as being unable to move, or “freezing” in place, something mentioned by a blogger we read regularly. I intentionally did not mention the person by name, as I do not currently have permission to do so (I haven’t asked yet, and I’m not sure when I will. I have so many things to do I can hardly keep track of them all, never mind blogging. I’ve been trying harder to get my thoughts out so I can move on to the other things instead of feeling “constipation on the brain.”)
For us, and maybe for others who experience “frozen moments,” I believe it results from the mind/brain being so consumed and overwhelmed with the flood of thoughts, that even “simple” commands like telling one’s feet to move, are impossible, for a certain period of time. The brain simply does not have the resources to instruct body parts to move, and the result is, no movement. That is highly frustrating as well, and certainly can result in angst/irritation, this time for a tangible reason. This intermediate reason for irritation is readily apparent sometimes, but then the process continues if measures are not taken to de-escalate the overload. And so on and so forth. It’s like a computer going into an infinite loop, whatever that means in computer-lingo (I know what it DOES to the computer eventually, but I don’t exactly know what pathways are involved in it.) The result for a computer in infinite loop is operation system shutdown.
Now I’m hopping off of this circular train….before it starts going faster and faster and………..it pins me against a wall like a gravitron.