when I goof up my numbering systemFebruary 4, 2008
This is a brief description of what happens to me (Athena. The Integral did most of the writing, it’s from different perspectives in different parts of the text.) when I screw up my numbering system or have to figure out how to construct a system. During my years of living with a misdiagnosis of bipolar disorder (to be described in another post sometime in the future) I wrote a lot of poems. I had a system of using Roman numerals (I, II, III, etc.) to number them, and once when I was sorting through them and trying to put them in order, I realized that I had used the same number twice, or skipped over one, or some other mistake like that. That upset me so much, that I did not write again for at least a year after that. Maybe even longer, I cannot remember now. To other people that may seem like a silly reason to stop writing poems, but for some autistic people, such a seemingly insignificant error is enough to make them reject something they once loved doing. I loved writing poems, and I still do, I (The Integral) don’t get around to writing nearly as much as I/we once did, because of school and other things, but writing the occasional poem is still an enjoyable activity for myself and Athena, and probably Ivan as well. We’ve gotten over the number thing for the most part; we think, anyway. As I type this I am scratching my head and wondering why we haven’t opened up our book of poems yet; it’s not just because of school. But that’s kind of off-topic for this post. We also have ADHD along with autism, so that happens quite a bit.
We still get upset over a goofed up ordering of things, but we have different methods of handling it. Athena is more likely to reject an activity over it. That’s not to say she is weak or anything of the sort. It’s just a fact.
with contributions from Athena and Ivan.